What Grief Teaches Us About Love
A month ago, I tragically lost my sweet doggie, Eli. He went into severe kidney failure. It was a devastating day for my family and myself. The concept of losing a being that you loved so dearly pass away is wrenching. Loss of loved ones is the ultimate pain. The emotions are so deep and raw. It’s a terrible process when these emotions just crash on you. You have huge senses of sadness, anger, fear, helplessness and even relief that can change a lightening fast rate. However, as difficult as grief is, it shows us the power of love. It reminds us of the richness of the human experience and that even the most dreaded emotions are at the heartbeat of what makes us-us.
When we love someone, we give so much. We give them our care, concern and time. We share happiness with them and create memories. When all that is gone, it feels like we have to rewire our brains. All of a sudden we are thrown into a word that seems impossible to navigate. Everyday moments like the food we eat to the places we go can seem like triggers for crying episodes. It’s this unique experience that teaches us the true meaning of love. We can tell a person or animal that we love them all the time, but there’s distractions. Life is going to life. We cannot dedicate all our time to one being no matter what. We have to work, eat, sleep and socialize We have so many thoughts in our head that we sometimes just lose track of the moments in front of us. Many people feel guilty about this when someone passes away, but it’s just human.
In the darkest hours of grief, it shows us how much love we are really capable of. Every tear, scream and the worst breakdowns are all reminders of it. If we didn’t really care, our minds and bodies wouldn’t be experiencing all this. These raw emotions bring us to a place that will far exceed simply saying “I love you.”
So what can we takeaway from all this? How can we use to this reframe our thinking about love and loss? The reality is there’s no easy answer to it-of course there’s not. These are complex and deep emotions that everyone experiences in a different way for different reasons.
However, we can all learn how to honor these emotions. We think that only certain emotions should be at the forefront. Society pressures us to be positive all the time and not pay much attention to these harder emotions. But welcoming all emotions and reminding ourselves it’s ok to take the time internalize them. I’m not suggesting to run down the street crying, but don’t be afraid to navigate those feelings. Find someone you can trust and confine in them. It’s really helpful to find someone you can relate to that truly cares to hear about what you are going through. It’s also beneficial to look at the “lighter side” of this all. Remember all emotions matter. It’s ok to be mad, sad and even happy you had so many beautiful memories. The reality is we’re all going to go through grief more than once and it never gets easier, but honoring our emotions gives us some light in the agony of it.
